托福强化班写作讲义.ppt

2009年春季托福强化班写作讲义（上）,郭瑞钢,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,工欲善其事，必先利其器写好托福大作文，先要了解其评分标准和时间字数等要求,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,托福大作文写作时间30mins字数要求at least300单词分值从0-5分不等，然后转换成标准分20分,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,独立写作部分评分三要素1内容的展开（development）2文章的结构（organization）3语法和词汇的正确使用能力（appropriate and precise use of grammar and vocabulary）,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,5分：an essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following（5分文章要满足以下四项标准的大部分）,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,Effectively addresses the topic and task（有效地回答了所有的问题）这个方面中国考生问题不大，都能做到,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,Is well organized and well developed，using clearly appropriate explanations，exemplifications，and/or details（结构合理）,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,这一点中国考生也都看似基本能做到，但其实提出的例子或者解释往往非常空洞，很不具体，而且因为空洞而产生逻辑跳跃和无话可说,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,Displays unity，progression，and coherence（语言的论证要前后一致）中国同学由于受母语干扰，语言连贯性一直不好，可以通过细节化或者连接词训练语言连贯性,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,Displays consistent facility in the use of language，demonstrating syntactic variety，appropriate word choice，and idiomaticity,though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors（语言方面）,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,句式变化（中国考生弱项）恰当的词汇选择（不一定要用难词，但要尽量准确）语言的合规性（合乎规范语言地道）可以存在少量小错误,托福写作之“大作文”（独立写作）,中国考生大作文四大弱项总结语言连贯性句式变化词汇选择语言合贵性,大作文之“九步写作法”,第一步：审题第二步：广泛收集正反两方面的信息第三步：根据信息量确定观点第四步：列出支持观点的理由第五步：列提纲，写出每一段的主题句,大作文之“九步写作法”,第六步：写开头段第七步：写主体段第八步：写结尾段第九步：修改检查,大作文之时间分布,审题设计：4mins正式写作：22mins检查错误：4mins,大作文之题材篇,大作文题材之五大题材第一：学习-学校-教育（学校生活，学习方法，学校管理，教育方式）第二：家庭-生活-休闲（家庭生活，亲情友情，生活方式，休闲爱好，居家环境）,大作文之题材篇,第三：工作-公司-事业（工作态度，成功奋斗，管理计划，企业发展）第四：社会-环境-人物（国家风貌，社会风俗，环境资源，人物）第五：技术-文明（技术革新，现代文明，进步发展）,大作文之体裁篇,大作文体裁之三大体裁第一：选择题（从两种或几种观点里面选择一个，并根据所选观点加以论证和展开）例题：,大作文之体裁篇,Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes.Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students.Which point of view do you agree with?,大作文之体裁篇,Some people prefer to live in a small town.Others prefer to live in a big city.Which place would you prefer to live in?,大作文之体裁篇,第二：判断题（要求对题目给定的观点表态，是赞同还是反对，并给出理由支持你的表态）例题,大作文之体裁篇,Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.,大作文之体裁篇,It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood.Do you support or oppose this plan?,大作文之体裁篇,第三：论述题（根据给定的一个论点举出几个事例进行论述）例题,大作文之体裁篇,Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university.What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate?,大作文之体裁篇,Holidays honor people or events.If you could create a new holiday，what person or event would it honor and how would you want people to celebrate it?,大作文提高之三重境界,古今之成大事业、大学问者，必经过三种之境界（王国维）第一重境界：昨夜西风凋碧树，独上高楼，望尽天涯路,大作文提高之三重境界,第二重境界：衣带渐宽终不悔，为伊消得人憔悴 第三重境界：众里寻她千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在，灯火阑珊处,大作文提高之三重境界,第一重境界：词汇第二重境界：句子第三重境界：段落,大作文之词汇用法要点,Your boss has a bigger vocabulary than you have，that is one good reason why your boss is your boss,大作文之词汇用法要点,钱：钱，金钱，钞票，人民币，老头票，大团结，银子，孔方兄.英文：money，cash，coin，bill，buck，fund，investment，fee.,大作文之词汇用法要点,大作文用词之五大层次第一：正确（correct）第二：恰当（appropriate）第三：精确（exact）第四：地道（idiomatic）第五：有趣（interesting）,大作文之词汇用法要点,词汇变换四大技巧第一：使用同义词进行替换第二：使用同根词进行替换第三：使用短语进行替换第四：综合使用多种方法进行替换,大作文之词汇用法要点,Mice in general are not well-liked,but a mouse named Mickey has won the hearts of millions.Movies about Mickey Mouse have been popular with audience almost everywhere for more than forty years.,大作文之词汇用法要点,Our great ignorance about the distant past also makes it difficult to identify great men.For example，no one knows who invented the wheel or discovered the productive use of fire.Little is known about the invention of writing and of numbers.,大作文之词汇用法要点,大作文最常用同义词群之副词篇再次，反复：again，again and again，time and again，once again，repeatedly，once and again，once more，further大约，大概：about，around，approximately，nearly，in the region of,大作文之词汇用法要点,的确，无疑：indeed，truly，really，in fact，actually，in reality，without doubt，as a matter of fact，truthfully,大作文之词汇用法要点,大作文最常用同义词群之动词篇打算：aspire to，aspire after，seek，pursue，strive for，push forward for，be intentional，be determined upon，go after，aim for，contrive to,大作文之词汇用法要点,停止，终止：stop，give over，discontinue，cease，abstain，conclude，desist，end，finish，quit，terminate,大作文之词汇用法要点,开始：begin，inaugurate，set going，set in motion，institute，commence，enter upon，originate完成，实现：accomplish，achieve，carry out，complete，fulfill,大作文之词汇用法要点,宣称：claim，affirm，allege，declare，state，pronounce维持，保护：conserve，continue，hold，keep，maintain，retain伤害：harm，hurt，injure，damage，destroy，ruin，wound,大作文之词汇用法要点,放弃：abandon，cease，depart，desert，discard，discontinue，give up，leave，withdraw，surrender，fail，leave over,大作文之词汇用法要点,解决：tackle，address，resolve，combat需要：require，call for，necessitate增进：increase，improve，enhance,大作文之词汇用法要点,大作文最常用同义词群之名词篇部分：part，segment，division，constituent，component，portion，proportion事件：affair，business，matter，thing，event，task，duty，occasion,大作文之词汇用法要点,观点：idea，opinion，point，view，thought，mind，point of view利益，好处：advantage，benefit，profit，good，strong point，merit，virtue,大作文之词汇用法要点,能力：ability，skill，power，talent，capacity，efficiency，disability，inability性格：character，characteristic，nature，personality责任：responsibility，liability，obligation，duty,大作文之词汇用法要点,垃圾：rubbish，pollutant，waste，refuse，litter，junk，garbage职业：job，career，profession，employment，vocation，occupation，work地区：area，region，district，zone,大作文之词汇用法要点,住处：house，dwelling，apartment，dormitory，building人们：people，crowd，masses，public标示：mark，signal，token，symbol,大作文之词汇用法要点,人类：the human race，humanity，man，humankind影响：impact，influence，effect，implications，repercussions，ramifications危险：peril，hazard，danger,大作文之词汇用法要点,大作文最常用同义词群之形容词篇明显的：manifest，apparent，evident，obvious积极的：beneficial，advantageous无处不在的：prevalent，pervasive,大作文之词汇用法要点,大：big，large，huge，vast，enormous，tremendous，immense，colossal小：small，little，tiny，minute，petit许多（后接可数名词）：many，a lot of，plenty of，a number of，a great many，a good many，a host of，a multitude of，a vast number of,大作文之词汇用法要点,许多（后接不可数名词）：much，a lot of，plenty of，a great deal of，a large amount of，a great quantity of，a wealth of,大作文之句子技巧,句式变换五大法则第一：短句拉长第二：增加句式的多样性第三：使用非主语成分开头的句子第四：使用非人物主语开头的句子第五：尽量少用There be 句型,大作文之句子技巧,短句拉长四大法则形容词和副词同位语作插入语介词结构作修饰非限定性定语从句,形容词和副词,老郭讲课。黑黑胖胖的，穿着衬衣但是没打领带的的老郭激情四射地讲一节无比无聊的托福强化班写作课。,同位语做插入语,黑黑胖胖的，穿着衬衣但是没打领带的老郭，一个二十九岁的男人，激情四射地讲一节无比无聊的托福强化班写作课，比阅读还要无聊的课。,介词结构做修饰,在一个晚春四月的上午，在太原新东方大南门校区403教室里，黑黑胖胖的，穿着衬衣但是没打领带的老郭，一个二十九岁的男人，激情四射地讲一节无比无聊的托福强化班写作课，比阅读还要无聊的课。,定语从句,在一个晚春四月的上午，在太原新东方大南门校区403教室里，黑黑胖胖的，穿着衬衣但是没打领带的老郭，一个二十九岁的男人，激情四射地讲一节无比无聊的托福强化班写作课，比阅读还要无聊的课，which left us a deep impression.,大作文之句子技巧,Officials have built highwaysIn recent years，responsible，hard-working and warm-hearted officials have built a great number of highways which have brought a large amount of convenience to the local citizens,大作文之句子技巧,Factories have discharged gases and liquidsThe newly-built chemical factories have discharged harmful and even poisonous gases and liquids which have had a seriously negative impact on the surrounding environment,大作文之句子技巧,增加句式多样性（不好的句子）Teenagers are pressured by schoolwork.They are encouraged by their peers.They have to resort to smoking like adults.But sometimes they feel a little guilty,大作文之句子技巧,（好的句子）Teenagers，pressured by schoolwork and encouraged by their peers，often resort to smoking like adults，though they feel a little guilty,大作文之句子技巧,（不好的句子）Some people succeed.Others people fail.The difference is not the number of opportunities.It is whether they can take advantage of opportunities.Opportunities will arise in the course of ones life,though they are rare.,大作文之句子技巧,（好的句子）One essential difference between those who succeed and those who fail is the extent to which they take advantage of opportunities，rather than the total number of opportunities，which will inevitably arise，if rarely，in the course of ones life,大作文之句子技巧,（不好的句子）Energy is much needed now.And nuclear plants are clean and economical.They can produce vast amounts of energy.But people,especially local residents are very concerned about safety.They hold a strong negative attitude toward them.,大作文之句子技巧,（好的句子）Nuclear plants are a clean and economical way of producing vast amounts of much-needed energy，though people，especially local residents，who are very concerned about safety，hold a strong negative attitude toward them.,大作文之句子技巧,使用非主语成分开头的句子动名词：Cheating on tests repeatedly invites self-defeat副词：Too soon，students are forced to cheat on tests,大作文之句子技巧,过去分词：Forgotten on the desk was her favorite MP3 player名词从句：What was needed in reality was not taught in school代词：Such is the case when a new policy is made,大作文之句子技巧,使用非人物主语开头的句子近100万中国人在过去15年里去过了美国The past 15years brought almost one million Chinese to the United States,大作文之句子技巧,（人做主语的句子）We reached the conclusion through investigation（非人做主语）Investigation led us to the conclusion,大作文之句子技巧,（人做主语的句子）Students should make ceaseless efforts（非人做主语）Continuous efforts on the part of the students are certainly required,大作文之句子技巧,尽量少用There be 句型（there be句子）There are more and more people who realize the close connection between energy and population,大作文之句子技巧,（非there be句子）The close connection between energy and population is increasing recognized,大作文之句子技巧,（there be句子）there are many people who prefer to go by bike，because they are not satisfied with bus service（非there be句子）The public preference for riding bicycles reflects their dissatisfaction with bus service,The economic downturn in the worlds jewellery markets has checked the growth of Indias diamond export industry,cutting the workforce by as much as 25 per cent and forcing one of the countrys most promising export sectors to seek government help.,全球珠宝市场的经济衰退阻碍了印度钻石出口业的增长。这个印度最有前途的一个出口领域裁员高达25%，并将被迫寻求政府援助,India has a 55 per cent market share of the worlds diamond cutting and polishing business.The industry imports more than half of its rough diamonds from Belgium and has strong links with De Beers,the global diamond group,Alrosa,the Russian diamond producer,and BHP Billiton,the resources group.The bulk of the diamonds,once cut,are then exported again to big markets such as the US,the United Arab Emirates and Hong Kong.,印度在全球钻石切割和抛光业务中占有55%的市场份额。该行业超过一半的原钻从比利时进口，并与国际钻石集团戴比尔斯(De Beers)、俄罗斯钻石开采商Alrosa和资源集团必和必拓(BHP Billiton)关系密切。在切割后，多数钻石将重新出口至美国、阿联酋和香港等大市场。,Vasant Mehta,the chairman of Indias Gem and Jewellery Export Promotion Council,said yesterday the diamond cutting and polishing industry had lost as many as 200,000 jobs out of a total workforce of about 800,000 people over the past six months in a sector highly exposed to US and Gulf consumers.,印度珠宝首饰出口促进会(Indias Gem and Jewellery Export Promotion Council)主席瓦桑特梅赫塔(Vasant Mehta)周三表示，过去6个月，印度钻石加工业裁员达20万人。该行业总计拥有约80万从业人员，主要针对美国和波斯湾的消费者。,The scale of the job losses suggests overall redundancies in the Indian economy in the face of the global financial crisis may be far greater than so far officially acknowledged.This year,the government said the economy had shed 500,000 jobs in key export industries but an economy-wide assessment has not been forthcoming.,裁员规模表明，面对全球金融危机，印度经济的裁员总数可能远高于官方迄今承认的数字。印度政府表示，今年主要出口业已裁员50万人，但政府尚未对整体经济进行全面评估。,“There are hundreds of small shops and entrepreneurs who have shut their shops because of recession in the west.This(diamonds)is a luxury item and they are usually last on the lists of consumers,”Mr Mehta said.,梅赫塔称：“由于西方国家陷入经济衰退，印度有成百上千家小作坊和工厂倒闭。这（钻石）是奢侈品，通常列在消费者购物单上的最后。”,Over the past 30 years India has built up an expertise in the low-cost cutting of smaller diamonds in Surat and Mumbai.According to Mr Mehta,the local industry dwarfs that of other cutting centres.The Belgian diamond centre of Antwerp has about 400 polishers,while Israel has up to about 4,000 polishers.,过去30年，印度在苏拉特和孟买建立了低成本切割小钻石方面专长。据梅赫塔称，本土产业令其它切割中心相形见绌。比利时安特卫普钻石中心约有400名抛光师，比利时至多拥有约4000名。,“We have asked the government to protect jobs.These are skilled workers in our industry.Its very sad if the poorest paid have to leave their jobs or close small factories.If skilled workers go out and stay out we may not see them coming back,”Mr Mehta warned.,梅赫塔警告称：“我们已要求政府保护就业。这些是我们行业中的熟练工人。如果待遇最低的工人都不得不离开工作或关闭小工厂，那是非常可悲的。如果熟练工辞职并改行，我们可能就不会看到他们再回来。”,Exports of cut and polished diamonds fell 31 per cent to$5.2bn(4bn,3.6bn)in the six months to the end of March as the global recession began to be felt.The sector performed much worse than the overall gem and jewellery exports,which suffered a fall of 19 per cent to$9bn.,随着全球衰退的影响日益显现，在截至3月底的6个月内，印度切割和抛光钻石的出口规模下降了31%，至52亿美元，表现远远差于整个钻石珠宝出口行业，后者下降了19%，至90亿美元。,More than 6,000 tourists have visited the Three Gorges Dam crest since it reopened Tuesday after a year-and-a-half suspension,the project managers said Wednesday.The China Three Gorges Project Corp.also lifted limits on the number of tourists,who visit the crest on the tour buses of a tourism company under the corporation.,More armed police were sent to tighten security upon the reopening.The 2,309-meter long,185-meter high dam crest was opened to the public on July 1,2005,with a daily visitor limit of fewer than 1,000.But it was closed at the end of 2007 because of project security concerns.,The dam,one of Chinas top tourist attractions,has received more than 1 million visitors,including 30,000 from overseas.Costing 22.5 billion U.S.dollars,the worlds largest dam is built on the upper and middle reaches of the Yangtze River mainly to control floods.,Upon its scheduled completion this year,it will be able to produce electricity of 100 billion kilowatts hours,equivalent to 3 percent of last years national consumption.,