A Comparison of Family Values between China and America论文 定稿.doc

毕业论文题 目: 中美家庭观之比较A Comparison of Family Values between China and America ContentsAbstract in Chinese .4Abstract in English . .5Introduction .6. The different understandings of the family concepts.71.1 Chinese understandings of the family concepts71.2 American understandings of the family concepts.8. The differences of the conjugal relationship.92.1 The different marriage values 92.1.1. Chinese peoples family values in marriage.92.1.2. American peoples attitude to marriage112.2. Differences in gender roles122.2.1 In China family, husbands are usually in the leading position, and wife still assume the great majority of house responsibilities.122.2.2. In America family, husband and wife share the household equally and wife is independent economically.13. The differences of relationships between parents and children.123.1 The differences of family education .133.1.2. American family education mode .153.2Differences in supporting their parents.163.2.1. In China, supporting elderly parents is both responsibility and obligation. .163.2.2 In America, supporting parents is not childrens obligation.17. : The influence of family values.184.1. The influence on individuals.184.2. The influence on society.19Conclusion.20Bibliography .21Acknowledgement .21摘要家庭是人类社会最基本的组成单位之一，由于不同的历史、文化以及诸多其它因素，家庭观念，规则，习惯以及家庭成员的思想和行为都有着极大的不同。本文试图从以下四个方面来探索中国和美国在家庭观方面的差异。文章首先分析了中美人民对家庭观念的不同理解，其次阐述了中美婚姻关系的差异，这一部分包括婚姻观以及家庭性别分工的差异。其次分析了父母与子女关系之间的差异，主要包括子女教育和父母赡养两部分。最后分析了中美家两国庭观之间的差异对个人与社会的影响。关键词家庭观、中国、美国、差异AbstractFamily is one of the most basic elements of human society, due to the different history, cultures and many other factors, the beliefs, rules and habits of a family and its members ideas and behaviors are all very different. This paper tries to grope for the differences of the family values between China and America from the following four aspects. Firstly, it analyzes the different understandings of the family concepts, secondly, illustrates the differences of the conjugal relationship, including the different values in marriage and the differences in the gender roles, then presents the relationship between parents and children, including children education and parents supporting, finally analyzes the influences on individual and society.Key words family value; China; America；differencesIntroductionFamily is the basic unit of social organization which is composed by relationship of marriage, kinship or adoptive relationship. As family is an interaction or contact among family members who are living together and taking part in production and consumption, the meaning of a family is child-rearing and supporting the elderly. With the formation and development of the family, family values were born at the right moment, which are the prerequisite of the changes and development of family. In the middle of the 20th century, with the change of human ideas and East-west cultural conflict, the size of the family shrank gradually，under the influences of those new ideas, family values underwent great changes and deeply affected the production and human life. In modern society, the most important meaning of family is to give birth and bring up children, family must be able to maintain the livelihood of all the family members and protect the interests of each member as much as possible. Family involves individual directly, which is a bridge between people and society, most people believe that it is the most emotional social group. We Chinese focus on the whole family while American emphasize individualism, therefore, the relationships among family members are also quite different. However, reasons for these differences are quite complicated, including different customs, cultures and social backgrounds and so on. Family values reflect peoples outlooks. The influences of family values are demonstrated in many aspects, such as cultures, family relationships and personal development. The analysis of family values can help us to better understand the differences between China and America in culture, family situation and personal development, as well as to acquire a further insight in culture shock and gaps in communication. This article mainly discusses the different family values between China and America, and it is mainly divided into four parts. The first part analyzes the different understandings of the family concepts; the second part compares the relationship between husband and wife; the third part is the differences of the relationship between parents and children, and the last part deals with the influences of the family values on individual and society. . The different understandings of the family concepts1.1 Chinese understandings of the family conceptsIn China, extended family is a small group, which has its own leader and order, and harmony is the main concept of the family. From ancient times to now，the greatest happiness of the extended family is several generations living together, and the old usually want to share the happiness with their family. The extended family is made up of several generations which are always organized from top to bottom, the oldest being the leader of the family and enjoying the highest power. Chinese extended family usually contains great grandfather/mother, grandfather/mother, fathers brothers and sisters, fathers daughters and sons, therefore，in China, family refers to the relationship which is linked by consanguinity.Chinese people are deeply influenced by the philosophy of Confucianism, they consider the family as a team, and they emphasize cooperation and unification among family members. Harmony is the main concept. It is well known that almost every ancient family has its rules, and those rules are very strict, every member needs to obey them, and who do not comply with those regulations would be punished. For example, if one of the family member who just try to fight for the family s interests would be regarded as a selfish behavior, which is unacceptable for the other family members. Chinese pay attention to the interests of the whole family, this belief comes from Chinese understanding of the relationship between Country and family, as they believe that family is the beginning of human relations, and Country is composed by families. Therefore, in China, traditional ethicists believe that if we want to safeguard the state's peace and stability, we should first keep up the harmony of our families. As the old Chinese saying goes “make yourself a good man, so as to be a good ruler of a family, and then of a country, and then of the world”, hence harmonious family is the foundation to keep the countrys peace, and if there's peace at home, everything will prosper! Therefore, in order to regulate family, old family rules emerged. In the Chinese extended family, peoples relationships are very complex, every family has its order, and both the old and the young have to obey their hierarchies. Confucian ideas show that each family member should be dutiful, and do what they should do and do not jeopardize others, then the family will be at peace. These rules have existed in China for thousands of years, and it has had a very profound impact on the formation of Chinese family values. Similarly, the Chinese have complied with these rules for thousands of years, and they have already formed such notion that these rules are a necessary truth. 1.2. American understandings of the family conceptsAmerican nuclear family focus on individualism and they advocate equality, freedom and independence. In English, the word family is explained father and mother，I love you. In fact, it is merit. When Americans refer to family, they usually mean parents and their children, which is the nuclear family. For most Americans, the typical family is composed by a small number of people, the elderly parents are not included and there are not many relatives living together. In their eyes, grandparents, parents, brothers and sisters are only "relatives”, not family members. Based on the idea of equality, freedom and independence, the relationship of family members in America is very simple. Americans think every member of the family, including their children, is equal and independent. Individualism influences American family values profoundly and extensively. Tornvig thought it could make each member of the union separate themselves from the others. The Americans believe that everyone should have the right to be recognized and respected and has the right to live according to their own wishes. The behaviors of any family members would be considered to be personal actions, less related to the other family members. They get to see themselves as very independent people from very young, and learn to be responsible for themselves, instead of seeing themselves as member of an interdependent family, religion, group, race, nation or any other groups. People who grow up in this culture usually do not concern about others interests but believe that every body should deal with his own business. Meanwhile, the idea of individualism makes the relationship of a family very personal. Of course, that brings about some negative consequences, and makes American family over-emphasis on emotional education. Although the independent family relationship in large measure contributes to the liberation of family members, however, it weakens the family's ability to withstand crisis. Meanwhile, it causes further separation of family members and the elderly may be increasingly lonely. We can see that the understandings of the family concepts between America and China are very different, Chinese people advocate harmony, while American people support independence, freedom and equality, and the two understandings lead to a larger number of differences in dealing with the marital relationship and the relationship between parents and children. ：The differences of the conjugal relationship2.1 The different marriage values 2.1.1. Chinese peoples family values in marriageTraditionally, in China childrens marriage is decided by parents, and marriage is not a personal affair.In the past, marriage of course was a family event, which implied that the parents could not refuse the responsibility to arrange their childrens marriage, so parents had the right to help their children choose marriage partners. If their children were single, parents obligation would not be completed. Therefore, to a youth, marriage was not his privacy, which always involved many other family affairs. Therefore, compare with the whole family, personal interest is tiny and can be ignored. Usually, marriage in ancient China was regarded as a way to expand the communication and enhance the actual strength of a family, which was the best way to realize the family ambitions in some degree. For example, Wang Zhaojun is one of the greatest women in our history, and her story indicates that marriage can avoid war and create peace, at least, at that time her marriage made a great contribution to the Western Han dynasty. Altogether, political marriage and commercial marriage are very popular in ancient China. Usually, traditional ideas are rooted in Chinese peoples hearts, such as two families should be matched for marriage, if they are not in the same social class, the marriage would not be considered. Marriage always represents the social status and fame of a family, and parents have a strong desire to hope the other family rich and well reputed, without considering the childrens feelings and emotional desires. Although these kinds of traditions have already been out-dated, they have not disappeared completely. In present society, Chinese people are influenced by the old traditions more or less, however, free love is accepted by Chinese, many parents have not right to interfere with childrens marriage, but there is a custom that the marriage needs their parents consent. As a result of various reasons, Chinese people can preserve their marriage even if the marriage is loveless, because they need to shoulder responsibility and observe morals.Besides, Chinese husband and wife should respect each other and overcome the hardships altogether. In China, many words are used to describe the relationships between husband and wife, for instance, husband and wife should treat each other with courtesy(举案齐眉), and they respect each other like guests（相敬如宾）. In the past, husband and wife called each other monarch(君) and subject(臣), and advocated mutual respect and admiration. Of course, in a family, wife should follow his husband, no matter their life was bitter or happy. Our traditional ideas showed that wife should be faithful to the husband in all her life, and those old rules were quite strict for women, at the same time, womens behaviors were restrained by those moral rules. Nowadays, with the development of the social civilization, husband and wife are more equal than before, although those strict rules are abandoned, the excellent traditional ideas are accepted and developed. Chinese people believe that husband and wife should confront the difficulties and enjoy the happiness in their life altogether, meanwhile, the couples should remain happily married to a ripe old age (白头偕老)，and should love and help each other. However, in present society, marriage has become quite complicated. In order to live better, husband and wife usually work hard to make a living. Chinese marriage emphasizes daily necessities，but the western marriage pays attention to the quality of life. Compare with the Chineses attitudes to marriage, Americans attitudes are much freer.2.1.2. American peoples attitudes to marriage.Because of the different cultures and traditions, American and Chinese people have quite different attitudes toward marriage. American family values are based on the independence, freedom and equality, and the most prominent value is independence and equality among family members, which is closely linked with individualism, as Americans believe that people strive for themselves and God is also for them, and they believe that every mem